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Saturday, December 22, 2012

These days

I keep thinking Christmas should be on Monday....and having to wait until Tuesday is going to be kind of hard. But I'm mostly glad/thankful Hattie and I get to have Emery home to ourselves for four days in a row. Him having time off plus us being home has been a rare happening around here.

Emery's work had a Christmas lunch on Wednesday. We signed up for cookies (because the ones we brought to the Thanksgiving lunch were very well-received). At the end of the day, one of his coworkers saw him carrying the dish home and said, "Wait, you brought those? How are you not 400lbs?" I guess he liked 'em.  They were the peanut butter chocolate chip variety. Gluten free, of course, and extra easy.

Speaking of food, I told myself we'd have fish and rice for dinner tonight. Fish is healthy. We have several packages in the freezer. The plain fact remains though, I just don't like fish - at least not these days. Maybe Baby Sayre is the one who doesn't really like it. Either way, it hasn't been a frequent visitor on our table in several months...and I still feel compelled to at least put it on our menu occasionally, but usually neither of us want it and we eat out instead. So much for frugality and meal planning. Oye.

Do you ever read Kisses from Katie? She doesn't blog very often, and I probably only stop by her corner of the internet once a month or less...but I'm always blessed by it. In some ways, I kind of live vicariously through her posts. That probably sounds funny, considering her posts are full of the raw emotion of living in Africa as a single woman, struggling to show the love of Jesus to the very sick and needy around her, but at the same time there's such a 'romance' about living a life like that, a life that, from the outside, seems hugely meaningful to the Kingdom of Christ. {Please don't confuse that sentiment to say that I don't feel like my life in suburbia isn't meaningful. That isn't it at all.} And yet, with all the good this woman is doing, her posts speak largely of her weakness and her great need of the Strength of the Savior. Of his great love when ours is so small.
That's the part that's the blessing. That's the reminder I need most.
 I. am. needy. and I am oh so weak and frail. But God! God's strength is made perfect in weakness. (2Cor12:9)
I'm so thankful we have a BIG GOD. A God who doesn't need us to let him do anything. ('But our God is in the heavens, he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.' --I don't remember the reference on that one).
And He's sovereign over all situations. That's what that means, you know, the doing whatever he pleases part. It means we just have to trust.
It was December three years ago when we had our first miscarriage. I didn't want to let go of that baby, I didn't want to surrender him to the Lord, even though he was never really mine to begin with. Emery and I were still newlyweds. Only four months into our marriage, still getting to know each other, really. And there we were, with wounded hearts, far away from our families and somehow trying to survive together. The Lord was with us. The prayers of our loved ones were with us. Emery and I grew closer together and clung to the promises of God. That was all we could do, but HIS grace was sufficient for our trials. I'm confident it always will be.
I know there will be so many other dark valleys to walk through in the days ahead, but I also know we won't be walking through them alone. And that's a comfort to me.
God is good, all the time. 

2 comments:

  1. We had fish and rice one night this week, too. I haven't been able to stomach the thought of fish this pregnancy, but was trying to be frugal (we had it in the freezer) and healthy. I gagged through that supper, but the leftovers went in the trash. I'm thankful for an easy-going husband who has agreed to (or even suggested) grilled ham and cheese sandwiches often when I just can't get excited about supper.

    I enjoy stopping by to read Kisses from Katie on occasion. Have you read her book? I read it earlier this year and was blessed. She is definitely powerful and I feel the Lord is using her in a mighty way. I don't think her life or mission is for everyone, but God is blessing her in Africa.

    I'm thankful for a sovereign and powerful God. That verse in Psalms (Psalms 115 maybe) is one of Chris' favorites and has become one of mine.

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    1. I haven't read her book, but I'm sure it is powerful.

      I also made soup this week and couldn't bear to even eat any of it. It's going in the garbage today. :/ At least it didn't cost more than $5 to put together. We've been doing cheese quesadillas more lately too, when I can't seem to think of anything else to make.

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