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Thursday, February 11, 2016

Impulsive

I used to be a "planner."
You might say I'm a recovering planner. Life felt secure if I knew what was going on and when and for how long and what would be next. Which is pretty similar to saying, I felt calm and confident if I was in control. And God has had some things to teach me about who is really piloting the ship, especially in the last ten years.
So while it's been frustrating and agonizing to let go of those reins, it has also been very freeing to simply trust the Lord to take care of you.
He loves his children! He's going to take care of them!

Anyway, my former self would have had things planned. And my current self, oh boy, I fly by the seat of my pants, as it were. Perhaps it's due to that survival mode I've been talking about recently, but we just take things as they come and run with them.

{I KNOW I ought to plan more, and I have been working on getting things a little more organized, like in the meal planning department...but other areas are free and easy....}

Yesterday, we started potty training Adele. Yes, doing this was one of my New Year's goals, but I didn't expect to start before her birthday. She went on the potty before her bath, and we've just ran with it, setting the potty timer and having a little container of potty prizes. Adele is doing great, really and truly, and it's been more encouraging than discouraging, but I still can't believe we're doing this right now. My brain felt like complete sludge yesterday. I was SO tired. I do feel better today, but I know one thing, if I had been "planning" to start her on the potty, I wouldn't have. "Nope, not today. No way on earth I can train her today," I would have said - and probably not gotten around to it for several more weeks.

It's not just potty training. It's play-dates or inviting dinner guests -- I usually don't have anything scheduled until the day of. And I don't mind life this way. I do love having someone scheduled to come over, and having time for more thorough clean-up (my house needs us to have guests every so often!), but those are much more rare events.

I'm thankful God has been working on me. I'm thankful to be okay with 'holding on loosely' and to enjoy the spontaneity that characterizes our life.
I love this life.

PS: today Hattie was playing "birthday party" in which she didn't receive the kind of cake she wanted (blueberry instead of peppermint), and then she went to lament this in her room, quite loudly. When she came out all blotchy-faced, she said she was just crying for pretend, and everything was really alright.
I think she'll do pretty well in the upcoming play{Ants'Hillvania}. She's got the drama.
PPS: My hands are so dry, if I had any sanding to do, I wouldn't need sand paper. Come on Spring.



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